And there isn't much else to add onto that title.
I'm just... Blah. Not even really overly dog related- apart from wanting the fluffy tri number to be here right now- but I'm just... I don't even know anymore.
I had this total epiphany a couple of months ago and everything just made so much sense it was wonderful. And I was finally, totally, completely happy and content for the first time in... Well, I'd say a couple of years, but it's probably even longer than that.
Now that's kind of worn off, though, and I'm just left with this feeling that I have nothing. I bomb out with school, I can't seem to find the motivation to do anything- at the moment the only thing keeping me moving forward (albeit statically and in uncontrolled directions) is the weekends when I get to go and do something with Charlie, be it a trial or a demo or something where I can just get away from here and feel slightly normal.
But I'm even starting to hate that a bit, because it makes coming back harder.
I know what I want to do with my life- but it won't kick in for a couple of decades and what am I meant to do in between then? I want- I need someone to talk some sense into me and help me, but I don't have anyone who can do that.
And I don't know what else I can do.
Blah. I'm sick, I couldn't even go into work this afternoon because I could barely breath and my entire head feels like it's going to explode I'm so clogged up. Charlie's spent the whole day sleeping because I haven't been able to move about too much without wanting to fall over.
Everything feels worse when you're sick.
No comments:
Post a Comment