I've got everything I need for Fletcher as of this afternoon. I've got toys, a cheap collar and lead- because no doubt it'll be chewed and grown out of in a flash- food bowl, basic grooming supplies, his crate and ex-pen. I'm all prepared.
But I'm starting to fret.
Now I'm not normally a worrier. Today, for instance, I was driving and nearly clipped the side of a little white car after I accidentally veered into the lane on a roundabout. A bit later, on another roundabout, a guy was being lazy with his indicators, I pulled out to go round and he was coming around to I had to floor it and shoot off to avoid getting collected by the idiot. My heart rate stayed normal, I didn't give a toss about either, while my mum had more or less put her foot through the floor, had her eyes bug out of her head and was throwing out a variety of colourful words.
I'm not sure if it's because I'm actually meeting the person who intentionally has bred such a carefully thought out puppy and I'm worried about letting them down with raising, training and caring for him. I'm not sure if it's because I'm just doubting my capabilities. I'm not sure if I'm overthinking the whole situation.
I do know that it has a bit to do with Charlie.
Because my mum had just cleaned the car and has an aversion to dog fur I had to leave him at home while we went and ran a few errands; he normally comes so he was a bit sulky and clingy when we got home. I bought him a cow squeaker which he loved and played with enthusiastically for a whole ten minutes before he squeaked it too hard and the squeaker popped out. So with it more or less broken he turned his attention to searching for other things to play with and happened to spy the assortment of toys on Fletcher's crate in the ex-pen.
That's Fletcher's space- like Charlie's space is his crate and my bed- and I'm being very strict with keeping that space individual for each dog now it's getting closer to Fletcher coming home, so the pen is closed and Charlie's not allowed in there. He's been pretty fine with that, tapping on the door occasionally but he's not whinging about it.
Whether it was because he's in a really sooky mood tonight combined with being able to see but not get to the new toys he hasn't been allowed to touch, or something else I haven't been able to put my finger on, but he has been a pain in the butt. He parked himself right next to the pen, right where I need to have my chair at my desk, and just whined and whined and whined, throwing in the occasional focused attention at me.
He's been so clingy tonight and so whingy it's got me all anxious about what he's going to be like when we come home with Fletcher in nine days time. Me being away for nearly forty eight hours isn't going to help matters; I've spent a night away from him before, but not within the last year and a half and it's always been only twenty four hours at the very maximum. I've been homeschooled for the past two years, I only work two three and a half hour shifts a week, don't go anywhere but to work and dog related things that he comes to as well, and he's so used to having just me with him all the time, not having to share me with anyone; he's very attached to me and acts up when I'm not about to keep an eye on him- running off and playing on the road is one of his favourite past times when I'm at work and my mum loses sight of him for a split second. He doesn't have separation anxiety, he just only really listens to and enjoys being with me over everyone else.
I was so sure he'd be over the moon with a "new toy" to play with- and one that would play back to boot- but I'm starting to doubt that. I really don't want to have Charlie sulking as well as Jack- that's a given, 'cause he's a grumpy old man. I don't want him to feel put out by Fletcher at all; I want them to love each other immediately and get along really well. Charlie loves puppies- but I don't know how he's going to love having one living with us and having to share me. For the next week I'm going to spend a whole lot of time with him, which might make matters worse but I just feel really quite guilty about getting another dog at the moment and I need to baby him for a bit.
So a pretty pointless long ramble of a post, but I'm all overly emotional and need to vent somewhere :)
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